2:45 in the morning?

Everyday Life, Family, Relationship, Thoughts

It is 2:45 am, it just so happens to be the day before my wedding and for some reason I can not sleep? Many would probably say it is just the nerves and it is a normal thing to be anxious, but I lay here and my thoughts run and run to where I am so exhausted from thinking but cant escape my thought process. I guess it started with dinner tonight? I had dinner with a friend tonight who happens to be going through a rough time in his marriage, and with me getting married tomorrow the topics were narrowed down to the obvious. I know what it is like to be in a relationship that is going nowhere. Only God can give you peace when the feeling you have every night begins to suffocate you in the silence. I often tell people what I told him tonight, but I believe the devil lives in silence and when you venture into the unknown and you separate yourself from all that is stable. I remember a time that my life was being smothered in the silence, and I can remember how it felt to be where he is. But tonight was different because I was able to revisit where he is with a new hope. You see God is a gracious God, I don’t believe he gets up every morning and decides over coffee and a doughnut that he is going to toy with his creation, but I believe everyday we live He sees the hope that he put in us and the potential to do the miraculous things that He has called us to do. But the only side item to that is that within that hope comes a freedom, a freedom of choice. Tonight this friend asked a common question that is so constantly asked, and that was, “Why does God put us through things like this?” But i ask, why don’t we depend on him like we claim to do, and if we did would the outcomes stay the same? Who knows? The only way to see is try, and the only way to try is to pray that he gives us the strength to hold on and help us be faithful to our prayer and our dependence. I think a lot of the time we forget why we are here and that is to glorify him? Period…dot, I know this is a hard concept for a generation and a creation for that matter that is drawn by freedom, but the greatest thing is that there is freedom in glorifying him. Can I explain, not exactly, but coming from a guy that has been down but now has a vision for the future…Take this two cents it was given to me in a guide to life, “Love God, Love People” and when you begin to do this then he blesses you with gifts like tomorrow.
I love you Kelly, and every bit of the journey that He has in store for us. And to my buddy who may never see this, Fight for tomorrow. God lives in silence too.


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